Happy New Year!
It’s been a hot second. But since we are starting a whole new year, I wanted to share some of my goals and intentions. And this, of course, includes My Word for 2019.
First of all, I really don’t love New Years Resolutions. I think they’re uber unrealistic. Making goals for an entire year is just daunting and setting yourself up for failure. I already feel like a loser way too often, so Resolutions would just be shoveling more on top of that. Truth.
BUT I do love monthly goals and I love hoping for a general direction for my year.
Each year I pick a word, and for 2019 my word is Lighter.
I’m definitely not talking about my body here. I’m thinking more of a feeling.
I wrote in my Bullet Journal: “Make decisions that make me feel lighter. Say ‘yes’ if it’ll make me money (financially lighter). Say ‘no’ if it feels heavy on my heart or gut. Do projects that come easily to mind…Do not be frozen out of fear. Emulate light. Eat in a way that makes you feel lighter. Bring light and love to your parenting and life as a wife. Delegate to make your load lighter.”
Along those lines, I realized I LOVE having flowers and plants in my house but rarely do. My black thumb is intense and I kill everything (except the dogs and kids, duh). BUT I’m determined to keep some houseplants alive. I’m on a buying spree, finally buying house plants and reading all about how to keep them thriving.
And then, to keep things moving in a positive direction in my home, I want to schedule two date nights a month with my husband and try two new fun recipes from cookbooks for dinners each month too. My mood can hinge on a meal, and I am a completely inspired and more positive person after a date night, so these little meal changes are really important to me. Plus, having our babysitter come really gives me a break from bedtimes and gives my kids a much needed switch-up in their routine.
To compare to my 2018 goals:
Tune Out
And: print 10 photos per month. Try 2 new recipes per month. Email 5 new brands per month.
In 2018, I was just trying to survive. I had Easton in January and adjusting to life with two people who constantly need me was honestly really rough. And to add to that, we moved just a few months later, which meant leaving proximity to our family and any help we had, so then I was all alone and drowning in feelings.
My goals for 2018 got flushed down the toilet pretty quickly. I had wanted to “not listen to bullshit” as my goal, but after a really rough year and being brutally honest with myself in a public forum, it was hard not to tread in the comparison trap.
I found out this year that I’m an “extremely empathetic and Highly Sensitive Person” which really helped things make sense to me. Noises (especially layered) can be excruciating to me, being touched constantly wears on me, and smells can bring me to my knees when other people would hardly notice them. I didn’t realize that I had stripped away all of my coping mechanisms until my breakdowns were happening all too often. What were my coping mechanisms for YEARS? Long hot baths, listening to running water, a strict morning routine alone, yoga almost everyday. But after moving, I no longer had a tub (which I had NO clue would affect me, but it makes sense now that it did), no longer had alone time, Easton was keeping me up all night and I physically couldn’t get out of bed in the mornings before Canaan was awake, I didn’t have my mom to watch the boys while I went to yoga (and wasn’t doing it at 6am like I had been)…everything was crumbling. In learning about HSP, as I am constantly learning, finding new methods of “self care” has really been vital for me and has helped ease my anxiety a bit.
So, things are calming down a tiny bit for me, mentally. My kids sleep a little longer at night most nights, which really helps. And I have finally been able to look forward to dropping Canaan off at school twice a week and getting a few things done (I still have one baby at home, so I’m not alone, but I can get more done sometimes). I’ve been re-reading Harry Potter books, which I find soothing, and putting together LEGOs which is semi-creative but with no pressure. I also bought a spin bike and signed up for the Peloton app, so I feel like I’m IN classes without leaving my house, and I’m getting so much joy out of that. I realized how much I NEED my yoga practice just recently, too, so I am making an effort to re-incorporate that into my routine.
I also took all pressure to pump out blog posts OFF the table. Choosing not to do it when I’m not motivated was only a benefit to me. I only want to share inspired content with you, so I feel better about the spaces between publishing lately.
So. That being said, I hope to get Lighter in 2019.
Do you set a word or intention for the year? I’d love to hear yours!
Loved this post and love your Word for the year. My intentional word for 2019 is Consistency. No big lofty goals. Just continuing on daily in the things I’ve purposed to do, whether it seems I’m making progress, or see results or not. If I simply aim for consistency, no matter how small the steps, I will be that much closer to where I’m aiming to be a year from now.
Oooo I love that word SO much. Consistency is such a calming notion. And the fact that you need to keep consistent is such an amazing goal.
1. Can you imagine having 4 children? Myself, I thought two were hard. And tiring. Young moms seem to think they need to be superwomen. Embrace how hard your job is raising two children, especially on less sleep than you should be getting!
2. The smell thing – interesting. People always tell me it must be such a good thing to smell and taste to well, but they have no idea the negative aspect of that!!!
3. The reason I dislike the idea of resolutions on the first of January, is that there is no real year of time, except on a calendar. Every day is different. Different things happen, good and bad. You feel great, then there’s sadness. Life happens. Good, bad, indifferent. It’s certainly great and helpful to have a positive outlook. Honestly I don’t understand the glass-is-half-empty people, like my husband. But you also can’t control life, and shouldn’t beat yourself up if things don’t go perfectly. That’s reality. To me, there was nothing different about december 31st and january 1st, except for the amount of champagne drunk . Take one day at a time! (unsolicited advice, sorry!)
NO I can’t imagine having 4! What a superstar!! And I love your perspective on this. In my own mind, I’m not trying to do it all or anywhere close to that, but from the outside, it may look that way! So yes, I probably need to reel it in and give myself some more grace.
And YES I totally agree with the resolutions thing. They’re unrealistic and a bit ridiculous. Monthly goals always work well for me, or shorter chunks of time. But year-long goals just set yourself up for feeling like a failure.